The Perils of E-commerce

A MAN stopped for drink driving by Gardai blamed a breathalyser kit he bought on the internet for giving a false reading.

James Fitzpatrick, with an address at 210 Phoenix View Apartments, James Street, Dublin, appeared recently before Kildare district court.

Fitzpatrick, who represented himself, told Judge Desmond Zaidan his father bought an alcohol tester online, because he lived three miles from the nearest pub.

Fitzpatrick used this device and registered under the legal limit.

But when later breathalysed by Gardai he was over the legal limit.

‘I made stringent efforts to track down the manufacturer and found out he had gone out of business, so therefore I am up in front of yourself,’ Fitzpatrick told the bemused judge.

‘I am a good citizen,’ he added.

‘I take on board your early plea and the fact that you have given us a bit of entertainment here,’ said the judge, disqualifying the defendant for one year and fining him €500.

He told him that it wasn’t a good idea to buy anything off the internet.

‘Are you trying to tell me that ebusiness does not function? Microsoft make billions off it,’ Fitzpatrick objected.

“You’re no Microsoft,” said the judge.

By Gerard Cunningham

Gerard Cunningham occupies his time working as a journalist, writer, sub-editor, blogger and podcaster, yet still finds himself underemployed.


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