The chair

Image via Morguefile

Dear Enda,

I see that despite near-15% unemployment, you’ve having difficulty finding a chair for the constitutional convention, so I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring. I believe I’m an excellent candidate, not least because I’ll settle for €92K, so Brendan Howlin can rest assured I’m value for money.

Now, my qualifications: I’m a journalist, so I’m good at subediting meandering documents. This is a valuable skill, since I know your government approves of cutbacks. I’d start by cutting Article 45.

Let’s face it, the whole article is waffle, it even says the courts can’t pay any heed to it, and it’s not like there’s any evidence you care about “the welfare of the whole people.

In fact, we could save an awful lot of hassle by cutting Bunreacht guff. Take Article 44, for example. Once you’ve said “The State guarantees not to endow any religion”, what more needs to be said?

In fact, I propose that every time we add a word to the Bunreacht, we delete two existing words. Too many problems in this country stem from using the constitution as a dumping ground for awkward issues. We should write more laws and less basic law.

Image via Morguefile

By Gerard Cunningham

Gerard Cunningham occupies his time working as a journalist, writer, sub-editor, blogger and podcaster, yet still finds himself underemployed.