Spider Spider

On Tuesday morning, the nation awoke to the news that killer spiders were on the rampage in Leixlip.

Mike Carter, a tourist from Australia staying in the town, identified the deadly arachnid as an immigrant from the antipodes.

‘It could have come in in a crate if something was imported from Australia,’ he told Morning Ireland.

Mike planned to bring the rare visitor to Dublin Zoo.

‘I’m not too sure how it would have got here,’ he added. ‘The question posed now is how long this female got here, how it got here. These could have been here for years.’

The news that Kildare was full of poisonous Redback spiders didn’t alarm the nation too much. Perhaps it seemed a preferable fate to NAMA.

Happily, the emergency was over by 1pm, when the News at One headlined: ‘Deadly’ Leixlip Spider is Harmless.

The lunchtime show spoke with Leo Oosterweghel, director of Dublin Zoo, about the new arrival.

‘The spider does have a resemblance to the Redback Spider of Australia, its a similar size and there’s a similar shiny body,’ Leo told the news crew. ‘But the tell tale red markings on the body are not here. its a European spider.’

By Gerard Cunningham

Gerard Cunningham occupies his time working as a journalist, writer, sub-editor, blogger and podcaster, yet still finds himself underemployed.