Thanks to a confidential source, 200 words is in a position to reveal several exclusive fund raising ideas from that An Bord Snip Nua report:

Demand a few billion from the EU Commissioners to do an Ahmadinejad on the second Lisbon referendum. After the success of the Ganley Wheelie Bin Gambit during the Ireland Northwest vote count, who’s going to believe him when he cries wolf a second time?

Instruct Garda commissioner to send the word out to the boys in blue: use new blasphemy laws to arrest and fine every foulmouthed gurrier in the country who utters the word ‘jaysis’.

Every garage, dog house, hen house, warehouse, farmhouse, birdhouses and garden shed to be re-classified as a second home.

Sell unused voting machines to Zimbabwe. Or maybe Honduras.

Bring back the marriage ban to reduce civil service numbers. Even better, this time it applies to gay couples too.

Cosy up to the Brits, see if they’ll take back a few counties.

Kerry to be dismantled piece by piece, packaged in tasteful kelly green plastic leprechaun shaped buckets, and sold to Americans.

Public hospital beds to be allocated to the highest bidder by auction system.

Nationalise the banks… Oh, wait!

By Gerard Cunningham

Gerard Cunningham occupies his time working as a journalist, writer, sub-editor, blogger and podcaster, yet still finds himself underemployed.