Sneak Preview

Sometimes, I listen to a story on the radio, and find myself shouting at some piece of idiocy.

And some days, I just find myself muttering ‘get on with it’.

Which brings us to Brian Cowen’s Grand Tour of Europe: Luxembourg, Germany, London and Paris by the end of the week.

BBC correspondent Mark Mardell reckons it’s no coincidence that his final stop is Paris, as France currently holds the EU presidency. And it’s no coincidence that the European Council is scheduled to meet next week.

Biffo is getting ready to put us out of our misery. After six months of shadow boxing and mumbled provisos about how The People Have Spoken, the taoiseach is ready to announce there will be a second referendum on the Lisbon treaty.

Happily, this blog obtained a sneak preview of the deal being hammered out by Biffo on his whistlestop tour. Among it’s main features:

* Ireland guaranteed a bye to the Eurovision song contest final.

* Free dental treatment for Charlie McCreevy to to fix that annoying gap in his front teeth.

* Faldo to be replaced as captain of the European Ryder cup team

* European Space Agency to decentralise to Kiltimagh.

By Gerard Cunningham

Gerard Cunningham occupies his time working as a journalist, writer, sub-editor, blogger and podcaster, yet still finds himself underemployed.