Celebrity Games

Fianna Fail are set to trump the Fine Gael coup in landing George Lee as an election candidate, announcing the Seoige Sisters as MEP candidates in the Ireland Northwest constituency.

Stung by the news that one of their harshest economic critics is set to take the hustings for the opposition, party mandarins immediately met in a secret conclave to plot the bold move.

‘We considered Joe O’Shea in Dublin Central, but in the end there was really only one choice,’ a party spokesman said afterwards.

‘Let’s face it, if we’ve got the Seoige babes, then that baldy buck from Libertas hasn’t a hope.’

‘The lads at the selection convention had the right idea with Paschal Mooney, they just took a wrong direction. We’re certainly not going anywhere with our policies, show business is where it’s all. But god love him, Paschal is just so 1970s.’

Reports that Fine Gael were considering Lorraine Keane remain as yet unconfirmed, but usually reliable sources indicate Michael D Higgins has been seen chatting conspiratorially over a pint with the Saw Doctors in a Galway pub.

Meanwhile, the Greens rebuffed an approach from Diarmuid Gavin, and Sinn Fein are looking for Colin Farrell’s phone number.

By Gerard Cunningham

Gerard Cunningham occupies his time working as a journalist, writer, sub-editor, blogger and podcaster, yet still finds himself underemployed.